Thinking of what was lost

Over the years people make choices that turn out either good or bad. As a Dom sometimes those choices eat at you. Several years ago I met a young submissive who was willing to give me her safeword. Now, this is not something to take lightly. At the time I decided that I didn't truly have the time to care for her the way I should. In retrospect, I realize that I was more worried about what people would think of the age difference than the issue of lifestyle. That is one of the few choices in life that I would dearly love to change.

Tied in the night

The shootings at Virginia Tech made me think about the way we as humans think. It is like our brains are tightly bound in a dark room once we reach a certain point in our life. Our opinions of other races, religions, and countries are carved in stone. This makes the process of attempting to forge peace almost impossible. Here we are tied and gagged by the things we have learned. We need to find a way to lose these bonds and open up to all people or we will never find a way to peace.
Yes, I like bondage as an adult activity, but bondage that is consentual still leaves the mind free to form understandings. Bondage that we are not aware of or unable to free ourselves from will never set us free. Don't look at the person next door or across town and wonder what is different, think about what you have in common. this is the only way to peace.

What does it take?

what does it take for a man to understand that his life has had no meaning up to this point? And how much more does it take for him to change that life into something more positive? People say all you need to do is decide to be different, but an old saying comes to mind. "the chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"
what habits do we have that keep us from doing whatever we are really here for? Let's face it,I don't believe that when we want to change, there is more to it than that. We need to find something within ourselves to motivate the change, how do we do that.

शाल we take on the world here.

I listen to the news and wonder what happened to us since the 60's. We wanted freedom and equality for everyone, but we aren't even close to achieving it. If anything we have slid backwards. wars over religion are nothing new, but what holy book says to make war on the world? None that I know of. People say that the darkness of the heart that leads to things like the Virginia Tech shootings is an epedimic, but what is the cure? I believe the cure is to treat everyone like they are special, like what they say matters, and like the religious differences we have are simply two different people trying to understand something beyond their comprehension.

A night of thought

Once again I found myself unable to sleep last night. And my thoughts turned to the concept of dominance and submission. I found myself lingering on the slight difference between the two. A Dom is uncomfortable when they are not in control and making decisions, a sub is uncomfortable when they are in control. Does that mean that a Dom is always in control and a sub always out of control? No, the biggest reason that so many people get involved in the submissive side of the BDSM community is to relieve the tension that having to be in control in their day to day lives. Conversely, over the years I have met many Doms who have to allow someone else to control their lives at work and the lifestyle allows them to releave that tension as well. In the perfect society no one would have to live an uncomfortable life, nor would anyone have to try and be what they are not.

Sometimes

Sometimes in life we think we know what we want, then we find that we have completely misunderstood our own desires. I wonder why humans are like this. Maybe we are cursed by having the ability to analyze our actions and sometimes are frozen into inaction by that curse.

Frailty of life

Recently I have had the fragility of life driven home to me in a very personal way. My mother has cancer, and it is spreading fast. I am not sure how long she will last. Makes me really regret the years we spent not speaking to each other. We should all remember that life is too short to let our petty problems interfere with our relationships.

Another Day another question

Stress, why does it seem so pervasive these days? Is it simply because we are aware of it, or is it because we have more to worry about? We have a country that has all the possibilities of being the best nation ever to exist, yet we constantly find ourselves disatisfied and disillusioned. Are we becoming jaded, or are we simply afraid? Afraid that somewhere somehow we must answer for arrogance and greed, for presuming that we have some preordained right to dictate to the world what they should and shouldn't do.
I cannot begin to answer these questions, but they are some that run through my mind late at night when I am trying to sleep.

Again I find myself behind.

It seems I keep forgetting to make entries here. Probably because I am not sure what I have to share with others, or what they might read.. I am not egotistical enough to believe that the world as a whole cares about my opinions, but I do have them. :)
Questions arise in my mind as to the value of trying to put some form to your thoughts and let others see just how you see yourself. Is this a good thing? not sure, but it may well be worth a try. I haven't really gotten a handle on this blogging stuff yet, so I suppose it will take some time for me to get acustomed to writing things in it.
One thing I know for sure, is that I do think.. that might be the problem, I think too much. I don't often let my emotions get full run, because I am not sure what will happen.. does that make me overly cautious, or does it just mean I consider other people of more value? Time will tell I guess. but until I come up with an answer I will attempt to do some thinking and writing at the same time. Maybe I will find a way to become more than what I am, or maybe I will find that I am all that I will be.

Been A while

I know it has been a while, but I have been trying to figure out what exactly to do with a blog. :) In reality, I guess it is just a place to get things off your chest, wonder about why things are the way they are, and maybe discover a bit about yourself.
I find myself wondering if things could have been different in my life, could I have been happier, or more 'successful' if I had made different choices. But when I look back there are very few things I would change. My life's work was enjoyable, and rewarding ( well maybe not financially so. ) and I don't know that some of the other things in my life I could have changed if I wanted to. Could I have been a different person and still have had the family life I had in the time period I had it? What part does the social environment play in how you respond to your home life? I am not entirely sure we will ever know the answer to that. Just a thought.

How does one find their way when life dumps them aside?

On a plain and gentle day
A man found himself without
The things upon which he relied.

Looking round, he noticed
That all that had been his life
Was now destitute and bare.

Standing in the sun, he cried
For why did this to him occur
When he had never done any wrong?

Slowly he came to know
Life's only guarantee
Is that it will be here
As long as you do pursue it.

So, it was not his fault,
But rather a quirk of fate,
So he wiped his eyes,
And pursued a new course

As a starving man
Pursues a feast
With relish, with desire
And most of all with hope.

A path less wandered

Among the things that oft worry people, are the dark thoughts that surface in the night. We fear them, we worry about why we have the thoughts.. we worry what others will think of those thoughts, and we worry about what those thoughts say about us.
Here I intend to pull my thoughts out, examine them, expose them, and attempt to understand why I have them. I will include poetry, random thoughts, and answers to questions posed by others. So come in, relax in a nice dark corner, and let the world wander by while we enjoy the exchange of thoughts.